DonkeyTest!

Have you taken the Donkey Test yet? This test will tell you how much of a Donkey you are (or in my case, how amazing I really am). It takes roughly 30 mins if you think a bit for each question, and closer to one hour if you chat or play at the same time.

Obviously, I'll blame my slow speed on distractions and my legendary perfectionism.

So, what's your score?

Be aware.

Below average, with blinds starting to creep up, I'd usually not pay much attention at this stage in the tournament. What's the point? You'll be playing ABC poker anyway and just hope to get lucky and double up.

With only one tournament going on, it's tough to not pay any attention though. I was aware that a guy three spots to my right played lots of hands and played them obviously. I often limped behind him with drawing hands to hope and bust him. It didn't work out up until then, as I missed most flops, but it was still the right play.

The usual happens, and he limps in in early position. I just call behind him with A8s, a pretty good hand in this spot. The small blind calls, but the big blind thinks for a while and goes all-in. He takes the pot down with a nice move, and the hand goes pretty much unnoticed for most players.

A few hands later, the same loose guy limps in from first position, and I just limp behind him. Another guy calls, which takes the pot up to about 1k now. The same guy who stole earlier takes a while, and finally moves all-in again. It is folded around to me, and I'd usually have a tough decision in this spot. Not this time though, as I insta-call for my whole stack.

What hands would I do that with? Usually, exactly zero. This one was different though.

He flips over J9o, and I flip a pretty unbelievable hand for me in this situation: Pocket Kings. Yep, I sinned and limped in middle position after an early limper. I'm usually the first to insult people for making a play like that, but I felt like it was the right move at the time.

With only 2100 chips and blinds of 100/200, I would have likely won 500 with a raise, and would have still been in a bad spot. With a limp, I have a shot at winning more against the tight-weak big blind, and a lot against the loose-passive. This would usually not be enough for me, as a small raise would still be better. However, with the presence of the stealer after me, this move was too tempting.

There is a right time for every move in poker, and if you look hard enough, you get to spot some of them. This pretty unusual situation favored a very rare move, and it turned out rather well for me.

You don't have to outplay everyone every hand in a tournament. All you have is a small edge here and there, and you hope that it's enough to show a profit over time. Just one great move per tournament is often all you can do. Pay attention and wait for them to make a blunder. It makes up for weeks of bad beats.

Luck in tournaments

As pretty much anyone knows, tournament poker involves more luck than good old fashioned cash games. Obviously, there's just as much skill involved, however, you need sustained luck to win a tournament.

Whether it is about getting good cards, getting paid on them, or simply sucking out, you have to ride your very lucky streaks and forget about barely lucky or unlucky ones. In a cash game, if you flip coins four times, and end up winning two of them, you break even. In tournaments, you might be out after the first coin that doesn't fall your way!

To get the cash game equivalent of this, you'd need to move up limits every time you double up. As it is pretty obvious, you'll end up losing your original buy-in a vast majority of the time. But if you get lucky enough to hang on from NL100 to NL5k, and win a coinflip there, you just won an astronomical sum of money for your investment, and all you needed was about as much luck as you need to win a tournament.

With this said, if I look back on my two final tables in the Mansion 100k, it is clear that I got lucky along the way. On my first one, I was almost dead the whole way there, but sucked out a few times and won my coinflips. I then folded my way to a good spot.

On my second one, I got an incredible run of cards, having Aces thrice and Kings five times. Combine that with some aggressive action on my part, and it is easy to see how I could get paid on almost all of them. See, the way cards work in poker is not linear. That is, if you get aces four times in 100 hands, it is a lot more valuable than getting them only twice. Maybe people will fold to your first re-raise, but at some point, they will think you're just bluffing and will pay you.

And that is what you need to base your whole tournament strategy around. You can't have a good strategy that tries to not lose when you get unlucky or not lucky enough. You have to ride your rushes, and if you lose, too bad, there's nothing you could have done. This is clearly why more aggressive players usually have more success in tournaments. If they don't get lucky, they lose fast, but a tighter player will probably lose anyway. When they do they lucky, they are unstoppable.

I had originally planned this to be an introduction to my bad beat stories of the week, but it turned out to be better on its own. Anyway, people don't care how or when you lose. What they want to hear about is how much you win!

It's Here. It's Hot. It's Fast.

Right before today's Mansion 100k tournament started, some fine folks parked in front of the house. The man quietly fetched a neat brown box from the back of his truck, and started to make his way toward the entrance. As a young kid eagerly awaiting his birthday present, I was already at the door, ready to jump out and acquire my new possession.

A failed attempt at writing decently and a real signature later, the packet was mine. Cardboard was no match for a pair of hands animated by my burning desire for leetness, and in a matter of seconds, the sum was broken back into its parts.

After a quick headcount to make sure everything was there, I was ready to start.. well, almost. I was also busy humiliating the final boss in Zelda, and registering in time for the tournament.

A few 'fold, fold, fold, check/fold' later, the delightful 'click' of a processor fitting perfectly into its socket was heard. A few screws here, a few swears there, and the motherboard was sitting in its new home: the external body of my now defunct desktop.

A small bluff, a quick double up, and on to bolting the heatsink I was. The next few steps required the help of the manual; almost a sin among my kind. The gods obviously noticed my lack of dominance over my new system, and punished me with a streak of cold cards.

This wouldn't stop me however. With this newfound information, I quickly finished the task at hand and proceeded to the first boot up, which is a very stressful moment. We know, and hope, that everything will work just fine, but we can't help but be a little anxious to see our latest creation spring to life.

With this regained confidence, I proceeded to double up again, and eliminate a short stack. I put in my Windows XP Pro disc, and quickly lost a call with great pot odds. Apparently, nothing would be forgiven.

The software was pretty much installing itself at this point, so I could concentrate some more on my tournament. I managed to suck out with A9 vs AK in a pot with a lot of dead money, and then double up with AA vs A9 on an A-high flop. I was now in great shape, and the money was closing in.

I was really card dead for a few orbits, but still stole a blind or two. A 5 minutes break and a few 'Ok, Ok, Accept, Next' later, we were down to 73 players, with 63 places paid. The small blind, a player with a pretty bad and reckless game, moved all-in on my big blind. He barely had me covered, and I had KQo. At this point, this is usually a tough call, as I only had around 1.6:1 on my money. However, against this player, this was a no brainer, and I made the call.

He flipped over Q6o, resulting in a quick sigh of relief as I saw the terrible spot he was in. The flop came K6x of diamonds, the suit of his lady, of which I had none. The turn was another ugly diamond, and I was out on what we usually call the Bubble, instead of having some real chip and a shot at the final table.

Disappointing, but considering the amount of time I invested in this tournament (read: maybe 30 minutes total), it was pretty decent. With the tournament out of the way, I could now dedicate myself fully to more important matters.

27 reboots later, my system is now fully operational. Gaze in awe at its amazing specs*, and don't expect to hear from me again in the near future!

- Intel Core 2 Duo E6400 2.13GHz
- Asus P5N-E SLI 650i
- OCZ Platinum PC-6400 2x1Gb CL4-4-4-15
- Seagate Barracuda 320Gb 7200.10 SATA2
- EVGA GeForce 7600GT

*Specs not guaranteed to amaze. May not apply in your country of origin. For further information, contact us at http://www.chokage.com .

Wii boxing

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
- Patches O'Houlihan, Dodgeball

Finally, on to Boxing. In my opinion, this is by far the best game of the package. Not only is the regular game fun and intuitive, the three training modes are also a blast. The first one is all about utterly destroying punching bags. The second one is about dodging balls thrown at you by your coach. It would have been hilarious if he threw the occasional wrench, but I guess some mothers in a certain crazy country would have been against the idea. The last one is a simple mitt training, where you have to punch accurately and fast.

I've played this game at least 30 minutes a day since I got my Wii, skipping only a few days total. Let's start with the bragging - I got Platinum medals in all trainings, with scores of:
- Punching bag: 43
- Dodge: 88
- Mitts: 71

If anyone can beat these, I'll be happy to pay you a beer and then beat your score, at which point you will owe me a beer. For regular matches, my score is around 2500 currently, but since it is pretty much the same thing once you get above 1600, it will probably settle around 3000.

A lot of people think that boxing is not responsive, and I must say, at first, I wasn't sure either. But the game really grew on me, as I've done a bit of real boxing in the past, and my basic fighting stance seemed to work pretty well. I recently showed the game to a friend who was boxing with me back in the days. After giving him a few tips, he instantly got the hang of it as well.

Here are a few tips if you suck at this game and blame it on the controls (as I do in Golf and Bowling):
- When you punch, always bring back your hand fast. This is basic boxing insight, and if you don't, the game must become unresponsive.
- For maximum power, throw fast punches. Yes, this does matter.
- The best attack is a one-two combo, where you throw both of your hands rapidly one after the other. It doesn't matter if, on screen, your glove is still in the face of your opponent. If your hand is back in real life, you can already throw the next punch, and the faster you do it, the more damage he will take.
- The trick to go above the 1000 mark is to throw most of your punches in the 'bullet time' you get when you successfully perform a dodge. They deal more damage and your opponent can't retaliate or block.

I could go on, going into specifics for most situations and trainings, but I doubt anyone will be that hardcore about beating me in Wii Boxing. It's not like my degree of skill is available to mere mortals anyway!

On a last note, as an added degree of difficulty, everytime my opponent goes on the floor, I do push ups. I'll do one for each count. I'm a bit pissed off when my opponent decides to stand back up at 9 twice in a row, but that's part of the challenge! Currently, my arms are dead after three fights, but it just feels that much more satisfying when you hear the 'Eight.. Nine.. TEN! Knockout!' and you can't stand back up because that tenth one was really the last one you had left!

Got Wii?

I've had it for almost three weeks now, and I must say, this was probably my best acquisition since my ultra-comfy computer chair. The Wii is simply an amazing little machine, loads of fun, and definitely worth it's low price of 318$ CAD after taxes.

Not only have I had a lot of fun playing it, I actually lost about 4 pounds and gained some muscles, while eating poutine and not holding back at the SuperBowl either! Obviously, this requires that you play the game The Way It's Meant To Be Played(tm), but as usual, you get back what you put in.

A game like Zelda or Excite Truck will obviously not cut it out, but fortunately, Wii Sports is the game bundled with the system. There are 5 sports you can play: Tennis, Baseball, Bowling, Golf and Boxing.

Golf is completely boring, Bowling is a bit weird, but the three others are pretty good.

Tennis is decent, but the problem is that you can basically play like a fricking toolbox. I'm actually better playing it that way, so there's very little interest in doing full motions.

Baseball is fun as well, even though you can still play like a toolbox. I seem to be slightly more effective when I'm the batter and I stand up, so that's a plus. It might only be because I'm closer to the TV and I can more accurately judge the pitches, but it is fun anyway, and since I always perform full swings, my arms are actually tired at the end of a tough game.

That's it for my little introduction. Part two is dedicated exclusively to Wii Boxing, so start practicing now if you want a glimmer of hope at beating any of my scores!

Some ring action

I played some cash games on top of the mansion tourneys this week, and made a nice little 527$ on top of the 100$ party bonus. I was on fire and I really felt like I was not only beating the limit, but simply destroying it.

I made a few changes to my style lately, and they seem to do me lots of good. Two of these changes are mostly preflop, but they also have postflop repercussions.

The first change I made concerns poker pairs. After reading some more on this, I finally understood that middle and low pocket pairs are about the easiest hands to play out of position. You either hit a monster, or fold. With this in mind, I decided to start raising any pocket pair from any position. I play shorthanded, so even under the gun isn't that bad a spot.

Another preflop change I made was being much more aggressive preflop in absolute position. If I'm on the button, and there's one or two limpers, I'll raise almost as many hands as I do if I'm only up against the blinds. I don't care if I only have 75s, I'm in position, I'm in command, and unless my opponents are tough or very tight, I have the upper hand. I also applied this concept to the cutoff, although I am much stricter when choosing a hand to raise with. I will do it with 89s or QJo, but not much less than that. Having the button call you in this spot is a disaster.

With my preflop game being much more aggressive, I had to make a few postflop changes. These are much subtler though, and kind of hard to explain. Basically, it's about guessing a bit more, but forcing your opponents off their game.

I'll see if this streak continues. This could possibly be my best month ever :)

Another final table bubble

Name: 036 100k Guaranteed
Buy-in: 100$
Prizepool: 100 000$ Guaranteed
Game: No Limit Texas Hold'em
Rounds: 15 minutes
Starting stack: 2500
Starting blinds: 10/20
Finish:11th/514
Prize: $1000

Another deep money finish, another chokage... I'm happy that I actually made the money today, as I played bad and didn't get any card early on. However, once again, when it mattered, I got very, very unlucky. This is the third time it happened, and I can hardly take it anymore.

(Scroll to the last paragraph to skip boring details)
But let's start with the early levels. When blinds were around 25/50, some guy in late position raised 4x to 200, and I had almost 2400 chips with AKo on my big blind. I made a play I don't do often, and raised all-in directly. He actually took a while before calling, and showed KK. Fortunately, I rivered an Ace and doubled up.

One bad beat against a short stack and several orbits later, I was down to 3k with blinds around 200/400. I went all-in for 3k from the button, and the big blind, with only 1400, called with.. 35s. He hit a flush, and I was almost dead.

I fold a few hands, and get a lovely hand: Deuces! At this point, deuces are a monster, and I giddily moved in. The feeling lasted about as long as a kid getting laid for the first time, as another short stack moved all-in over the top, and the big blind called. They flipped over TT and AQ, and I was ready to walk out. But hey, I was an artist today, and I pulled another suckout out of nowhere. The flop had a lovely deuce on it, and I tripled up to 6k.

On the very next hand, I get AK on my big blind. UTG raises it, and I move all-in. He calls with JJ, and once again, I hit an ace on the river and double up. 12k!

I was on a roll, and the next hand, I get AQs. Two short stacks are all-in, and I make the call. They have KQs and 75s, and my hand holds up to win another nice pot. 18k!

I then finally woke up and decided to play some real poker. I don't really remember how it happened, but I went up to about 60k without showing any hand. I then got on a streak, getting AA, QQ, and two Ax hands in a row, from my BB. I won nice pots with the first two hands, and then stole the blinds twice in a row, which took me up to roughly 110k. At that point, I was around 2nd out of 20 players, in very good shape for some real money!

I finally got some bad luck, as I was moved to the seat directly to the right of the chip leader. This has nothing to do with the cards, but out of all the seats left, this was the worse. This is some kind of hidden luck, but this is pretty much a bad beat on its own. A few players busted, and the tables were broken again. I was now in stealing territory, having three average stacks right after me.

The poker gods would have none of it though. Like a kid having too much fun in a candy shop, I was taken right out and moved to a much more unpleasant place after only a few hands: right before the two chip leaders!

I was in a bad spot, but the chip leaders had some respect for me, so my steal attempts went uncontested. Down to 11 players, I stand around 125k, and get AA in middle position. Blinds are at 4k/8k with a 400 ante. Simply getting the blinds is fine, but AA is too good for that. Still, the big blind had 75k, so limping was out of the equation. I elected to make a small raise to 18k. That would get the pot up to over 40k, and he'd have only 55k left. If he was unlucky enough to hit a pair, he would probably lose his whole stack to me. Plus, another player might elect to play back at me right there.

As expected though, it was folded to the big blind, who took a while before finally calling. This is exactly what I want. No hand has the odds to outdraw aces on the flop for this much money, and most of the time if he hits, he'll pay me off. The flop was kinda ugly though. It came J52 all diamonds, and I didn't have the ace of that suit. The BB checked, and I couldn't let a fourth diamond come, so I fired a small 20k, which he check/raised for his last 35k. At this point, the pot has about 120k in it, and it costs me only 35k to call, which is pretty much a no brainer.

I thought to myself 'Wow, it'd be sick if he had two diamonds there'. And sick it was. He flipped over a monster hand: Qd6d! Let's just say that he was in a bad spot before the flop...

Losing this pot really hurt me, as I was down to 50k with an initial pot of roughly 14k. Fortunately, I picked up TT on that hand, and I moved in without hesitation. However, the button woke up with queens, and that was it for me. Out in a disappointing 11th place, good for 1000$, but so frustrating.

This is my fourth deep finish, and my fifth money finish, out of 21 of these events, and I like that. I didn't expect to do nearly as good as this, but at the same time, this is really frustrating. Had I played a very basic weak-tight game when I was near the final table in all my events, I'd be at least 5k, probably 10k richer today. Had I been decently lucky only once, I'd have a top three finish under my belt. My ego won't take it much longer.

I have a new nemesis, and Variance is her name.

Mansion summary

I've played my 18th event on Mansion yesterday. I probably spent a total of 60 hours total playing in these, and it was mostly a lot of fun. My tournament game has improvement tremendously, and my bankroll grew up!

Here are the highlights of this series of events:
6150$ in raw prizes
1800$ in buy-ins
4350$ in net profits
Money finishes: 4 (22.2%)
Final tables: 2 (11.1%)
Bubbles: 1
Doubled my initial chip count: 11/18 (61.1%)

How I went out when it mattered:
88, called by JJ, out in 47th (250$).
ATs, called by AQs, out in 10th (1000$).
A8s, called by AJo, out in 8th (2400$).
99, called by A5o, out in 56th (bubble).
AQs, called by TT, out in 8th (2500$).

As usual, I had the worst of it most of the time, as that is pretty much what short stack play is all about. Move in with something decent and hope for the best! When you do get called, you're usually not in good shape.

All-in-all, a very good experience for me. I'm still a bit frustrated about my 10th and my 2nd 8th place finishes, as I was on my way to some good money and simply got unlucky. Only one more coinflip in either of these, and I was about 5k richer. At least, it wasn't for half a million dollar on TV, at which point millions of people would see me shouting frenchie swear words for several minutes.

I don't know how long Mansion will keep going on with these, now that they banned american players, but I'll try to play in most of them as long as they last, as they seem to be rather profitable.

My new goal is now to hit a 4k finish. Hopefully, that will happen in the next week or two!

Semi-chokage: Mansion 100k

Name: 031 100k Guaranteed
Buy-in: 100$
Prizepool: 100 000$ Guaranteed
Game: No Limit Texas Hold'em
Rounds: Only 15 minutes
Starting stack: 2500
Starting blinds: 10/20
Finish: 8th/444
Prize: $2500


I'm royally pissed off right now. It's funny in a way. The first time I got 8th, I was ecstatic. I had played a good game, but ran short on luck, and limped my way into a good payday.

This time, I played a good game, ran high on luck, and was 1st when we were down to 11 players. I then lost a coinflip with TT vs AK for 1/3 of my 200k stack. Down to the final table, I was card dead. I saw others moving in and taking down pots, and the few all-ins that were called were monster hands like QQ vs AK.

By the time we got down to 8th, I only had 100k left, blinds were up to 6k/12k with a 600 ante. The chip leader wasn't too loose, but had just won the hand before. She raised to 30k from MP, and I woke up with AQs on my big blind. Folded around to me, I couldn't really fold here. I moved in, and with only 70k to call into a 140k pot, she made the call with TT. I lost that coinflip too, and I was out in very bitter 8th place for 2500$.

Had I won either of these coinflips, I would have been in a solid position for a top 3 finish, worth over 10k. I know that I got my fair share of luck today. I had kings about five times, and aces four times. But it's so disappointing to be so far ahead, playing good and having the run of your life, then losing coinflips worth several thousand dollars. That's a lot of money to flip coins for.

Variance owes me.

Bitch.

The Shovel - v1.2

I've made a few minor improvements upon my original Shovel article, concerning both my writing and playing style. Moreover, you can read an excerpt from Daniel Negreanu's upcoming book which explains the Shovel concept in different words. He should have taken my article directly ;)

=============================
Top Pair is a Shovel

Every poker player has flaws in his game. Great players have very few, and are usually aware of them, while your average donkey's game is a flaw in itself. Exploiting someone's weaknesses is how you make money at the poker table. Some flaws are very widespread, and I think that overplaying top pair is one of these.

Everyone can play the nuts well. You usually get as much money in as you can, and hope that someone follows. Playing a flush draw well is already harder, but still very straightforward. It is also quite easy to play when you hit absolutely nothing. You just throw your garbage away, cutting your losses. But when you stand right in the middle, it gets very tricky.

Top and middle pairs win more showdowns than any other poker hand. You can't just throw these hands away and wait for something bigger. Logic dictates that top pair should have some value. But for some players, folding these hands might actually improve their game. What they fail to realize is that top pair is good only as long as you have no opposition. As soon as your opponent starts giving action, you're most likely behind.

A lot of people believe that the correct way to play top pair is to raise as soon as possible, to define their hand. Maybe that's true in Limit Hold'Em, but it certainly isn't in No Limit. When you raise on the flop, you are basically throwing away the value of your hand. If the bettor was indeed weak, he will fold. You could have any two cards, and it doesn't matter. Raising here is a very aggressive, bold move, on the verge of a pure bluff.

If your opponent is strong, it gets more money into his pot, and your decision is just as hard if he re-raises you. He could have top pair with a worse kicker, middle pair with some draw, or simply a strong draw. Or most likely, a hand way ahead of you, against which you could have almost any two cards, as they most likely won't matter. Moreover, if your opponent senses weakness in your raise, he could take the pot away from you right there. You have a very tough decision, as it involves two opposite actions. Calling when you are behind is a huge mistake. Folding when you are ahead is even worse.

Now, let's say that you just call instead of raising. You show weakness there. What does that accomplish? Two very important things. First, it might induce a weaker hand to bet again. That's very good for you. Second, if your opponent has a very good hand, such as a set or two pairs, he will most likely bet much less, as he wants to extract some more money from you. Whatever he has, your play is basically the same: call if he bets, bet otherwise. Another hidden advantage is that for the price of your flop raise, you see both the turn and the river.

I like to keep it simple. I like to be in a spot in which your move is the same against most hands your opponent might hold. If you flop a straight on a weak board, you know that you are ahead. Whatever your opponent holds, you want to make him pay. If he has a good draw, make sure he doesn't have the correct odds to call. If he has a good hand, make the ride as expensive as you can. But top pair is not a straight. It is (one of) the weakest playable hand. It's a knife in a brawl. Sure, that unarmed drunken bastard will run away, but you could most likely beat him anyway. And that guy with the gun? He's not going anywhere. Your chances of getting out of it alive would actually be higher if you were unarmed.

You need to play it more like a shovel. Against the inebriate, your shovel is good enough. It's even better, as he might not see the real power of such a wonderful weapon, and try to fight you. The most likely result is a quick and very painful hit to his delicate jaw. However, a shovel doesn't scream "I'm here to fight" like a knife does. That guy with the gun might let you get out of there alive. And, I don't know about you, but staying alive is an activity I enjoy very much.

So, what's the point of this? I guess it's a poker lesson about how you should see top pair to make the best of it. I guess it could also be an homage to shovels, as the ultimate concealed weapon. No one screams "Police!!" when they see a guy with a shovel on the street. So just be the guy with the shovel.